Hi, I’m Sam Hi, I’m Sam

This is my blog. I also have a website thing.

I Don’t Care

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I think not caring is impossible. Every time I say “I don’t care,” I’m lying to myself. All I do is care.

Lately, I’ve been learning that you can’t choose to not care. It’s like trying not think about something—it just makes you think about it more.

Instead, I’ve been focusing on acceptance. At first, this seemed like the same thing, but the difference is important. Lying to yourself that you don’t care about it versus saying this is the way it is and I’ll figure out how to live with that is really important.

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Walking to Work

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Lately, I’ve been walking to work. I live about 5.5 miles from my office. Generally, it usually takes me about 1.5 hours but varies based on the route. I like to mix it often to see different parts of the city or different views.

Most weeks, I’ll walk to work 3–4 times and walk home 1–2 times.

I’m at my lowest weight since I’ve been tracking my weight (~5 years). I feel better and plan to keep going!

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Great

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I want be great. I wrote a journal entry about this back in September that I’ve been thinking about recently. Here’s an adapted version of what I wrote with some additional thoughts:

I remember I was in a Lyft listening to Big Red Machine thinking how exceptional the song Lyla is. It’s not that I was moved by that song. I mean it’s a good song, but it’s not like the best song ever or anything. It’s that that artist has put out such consistently great art. He is great—at least in my book.

I want to be know for being great at a craft. I think that’s a reasonable aspiration, right? I feel like iOS work doesn’t count. I just put pieces together. I’m not being that creative. I guess I want to be known for being great at creating something.

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Thirty

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So I just turned 30 today. It feels the same as yesterday. I remember thinking 30 was so old and everyone over 30 was irrelevant. (The first few places I worked had founders in their 20s for what it’s worth.)

I remember thinking I wanted to change the world or whatever before it was too late because I was too old because I was 30. I remember wanting to be considered “great” by whatever definition.

I remember spending as much of my free time as possible for years making software so people on the Internet would think I was good at making things. I guess as a result of lots of practice, I did get better at making things. I care less now if you agree or not.

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Work-Life Balance

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A friend recently complimented me on my work-life balance. This is definitely something I put some effort into figuring out when I first started working at a large company. It was pretty neat to get feedback that I was doing this well versus that I’m too disconnected, etc. Here’s what I’ve been doing that works for me.

One of my main drives for joining a company was not working from home any more. Having to physically go to the office helps me really keep things separate. I want to show up, get a lot done, go home, and not think about work at all. Having separate work and life contexts helps you focus on each.

I almost never take my work computer home. It belongs at work. I also only work from home if absolutely necessary. Being at the office makes me more productive and helps me turn off work when I’m done on my ride home. I don’t do any work on my personal computer.

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